Gramophone Dreams

I'd been building and repairing tube amplifiers for a few years when my first Altec A5 Voice of the Theater speakers arrived. I bought them to help me evaluate the sound of low-powered triode amps—but whoa! The moment I turned that VOT system on, I heard from 30' away the sound of either a waterfall or a large AM radio tuned between stations . . . What's the best tube tester? A 107dB/watt speaker!

Tell me now: When you're there in the scene, watching Lord Voldemort chase Han Solo through the Cave of the Klan Bear, how often do you notice that the sounds you're experiencing are being pumped at you from five black-painted room boundaries, while the flickering-light images approach from only one? Moreover, in a parallel, more quotidian reality, you're sitting upright in your seat, noisily chomping popcorn while absorbing—and processing—massive amounts of sensory data: Did you ever consider the sensual, mechanical, and psychological complexity of a moment like this, and how fundamentally unnatural it is?

It's get-ting bet-ter all the time (it can't get no worse)—John Lennon & Paul McCartney

Remasterings of recordings make me angry—they mess with my memories of the songs I love, especially songs from the 1960s that I played in my bedroom on a cheap Garrard turntable through Lafayette speakers. Like my first girlfriend, these songs permanently entered my psyche and modified my DNA.