Use the comment form to tell us an audio joke.

Use the comment form to tell us an audio joke.
Okay here's an audio joke . . .
36% (27 votes)
Sorry, no joke
20% (15 votes)
Get back to your normal questions!
26% (20 votes)
There is nothing funny about audiophiles.
18% (14 votes)
Total votes: 76

Here's the first joke to get you started:<P>Q. How many audiophiles does it takes to change a light bulb?<P>A. One, and 33-1/3 to explain the superiority of candles. (Thanks to Bryan Stanton)<P><I>OR</I><P>A. Three: one to do it and two to discuss how the old bulb was better with this particular socket and wiring system.<BR><P><I>OR</I> (from Kal Rubinson)<P>A. One, but he has to stand on TipToes to do it.<BR>

Mike Castagno's picture

Q: Why did the audiophile cross the road? A: Because the imaging was better on the other side.

Graeme Nattress's picture

Fine, have an audio jokes section. Some are quite funny. The biggest audio joke is that most of the equipment out there sounds so bad . . . like any reflex or box speaker. The wrong bass sounds they make, either in terms of no dynamics (box) or one (wrong) note whoompa-whoompa, silly, resonant bass (reflex) are culturally ingrained on our ears because they are popular and that's all people hear (no live music), so they actually think they sound correct! Let's get back to the serious questions please.

Al Marcy's picture

Q: Why do audiophiles use green magic markers on CDs? A: Because they used up their black ones highlighting textbooks in graduate school!

T's picture

We're a sorry bunch of loser (with a lot of money).

Joseph May's picture

Q. What's the difference between an audiophile and a musician? A. The musician gets PAID for caring more about his gear than his music.

William B's picture

Litebulb joke: Only one, but it takes about three weeks to fully appreciate the new bulb. First , the power cable has to be replaced, then the socket needs rubber feet, the bulb needs a damper, and of course it gives off green light after the magic-marker treatment. Finally, it takes about three weeks for the bulb to properly burn-in. What would be useful is to obtain a copy of the Stereophile Lightbulb burn-in socket, which automatically turns the bulb on/off in a special pattern to enhance the electrons and the glowing stage. One more note: Two bulbs placed about 7-9 feet apart about 1/3 of the way into the room create a more realistic lighting experience.

Karl Richichi U.T.  Media's picture

This is new!! Keep it up!!

Steve's picture

Except the purple lips and odd-shaped heads. Ah, the worlds queer, except thee and me, and even thee's a little queer.

R.  Cat Conrad (Audiophilander)'s picture

A: None, the concept of screwing the valve into the socket doesn't make any sense. :-) (Mark Miller)'s picture

Don't try so hard you guys, it's not worth your valuable space or effort!!!

Bard-Alan Finlan's picture

Here is one I thought I saw in Stereo Review in the late '60s; think it was a Rodrigus cartoon. Audiophile has a large seashell in his living room, friend picks it up and puts it against his ear to hear "ocean sounds" but can't hear anything; he turns shell over and sees double-D logo and the words "Dolby System." Ha, ha, ha!

Federico Cribiore's picture

Is there nothing more pertinent to discuss?

Tony Esporma's picture

Hmmm . . . a real audiophile would make sure that the lightbulb was made in by Svetlana or at least be an NOS GE. None of that stuff made in China. And, of course, a real audiophile would make sure that the lightbulb was turned on for at least two hours before it could be used for critical reading. Lastly, none of them solid state 12VDC halogens or fluorescents. Only good old incandescent will do. AND . . . of course, the spectral balance of that incandescent will be very important! OHOHOH, the SE folks will want a 12VDC lightbulb. Something about the glow. The OTL troops, of course, will insist on 100 1W lightbulbs all wired in parallel. And . . . have we discussed the light socket yet?

Yongfei Lin's picture

Be careful, Audio buddies: Stereophile is selling those surveys to manufacturers' for data-mining!

lonny gates's picture

jokes are funny but this is not a joke web site. but that dose not mean you can't print them once in a while.

Thad Aerts's picture

How many audiophiles does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Audiophiles don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in their $100,000 listening rooms.

S.B.'s picture

Make sure that there is no Jitter in the connection.'s picture

Audiophiles who can't laugh at their affliction probably do not have enough disposable income.

Louie's picture

But, Lisa Astor puts it all in perspective!

Dude's picture

old, stale... Then again this IS Stereophile so....

Anonymous's picture


anon.'s picture

Q: What happens when you give an audiophile Viagra? A: There's more bloom in his midrange.

Fred Manteghian's picture

Excuse me, but lightbulb jokes are my bag, baby . . . Q: How many audiophiles does it take to change a light bulb? A: "Sssh, wait, wait---doesn't it sound better now?"

U2+3's picture

True story . . . nameless audio dealer's young son in answer to math teacher: "What does > mean, Peter?" "Play, ma'am." Dad was very proud.

David L.  Wyatt's picture

Lightbulb joke: One, but it will take him five hours and three trips to the supply store to tweak the filament for optimum color balance.

Yvonne Hubbert's picture

Lightbulb joke: Two: one to measure and one to put tape on the floor to mark the "sweet spot" to put the ladder. And then no one is allowed to touch it.

M.Amico's picture

Given a choice there will always be a difference of a opinions.

Derek Coates's picture

Paul Klipsch is walking down a city street when he sees Dr. Amar Bose walking toward him. He cups his hands to his mouth in a horn shape and yells "Hi, Dr. Bose, how are you?" Dr. Bose sees him and acknowledges him by turning around, facing the opposite way, and yelling back, "I'm fine, Paul. How are you?"

Robert Jacobson's picture

Suggestion: Take all of your equipment reviews and put them in a database that could only be accessed by subscribers.

Dr.  Lars Bo Henriksen, Denmark's picture

Audiophiles are tragic---the Sisyphus of the modern age.