Alas, your disgruntletude is palpable.

So," where to begin? Why does he prolong the sentence and talk about a state of existence with ""relieve myself"" instead of saying he'd ""pee"" on your desk? He can't countenance reflexive pronouns but he can abide ""revieve myself?"" Maybe he's making a sly reflexive-self-reference.He ends with"," ""I

Buddha," I think the sentence after ""All they had left was The Guardian"" was superfluous and actually stepped on the punch line. I liked your dig at that old hair shirt of a man Thoreau.

You're kidding right," guys? ""Simplify"" is just a single word"," but ""Simplify"," simplify"" is a concept being introduced", a lesson complete with it's own built-in pause for thought, a light-bulb-going-on moment shared, and a reaffirmation, all in one.