Buddha
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To beyond quantum, and then more beyond more! New supersymmetrical superstring theory based tweaks.
mark evans
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Time to reveal some tweaks I've undertaken:

I was getting a little bored with tweaks stuck in the quantum rut and thought it was time for tweaking (and tweak sales nomenclature) to step up to the exciting, and more fundamentally true realm of superstring tweaks.

My new superstrings are made of proprietary materials. Sorry, but it's safer to just make them and not take the risk of patenting anything that may assist wannabe tweakers pollute them with primitive concept materials like morphic resonance or "quantum" bullshit.

Anyway, I take super secret sub sub sub atomic based materials and combine then in such a way that distills their dimensionality from a hard to manage 26 dimensions and gets it down to the four that most mortal audiophiles can relate to.

After I create the superstring, I cut it to an illusionary finite "apparent length," but leave an infinite length of "fractal length."

Imagine it: Infinite fuckin' fractal length contained in an apparent finite length of superstring. (Not even Cyrus can fulling fucking dig that.)

Then, I shield its mighty power to get the potency down to audio-grade levels. Unshielded string is too much for beginners to handle.

So, there are different shielding materials and different interactions that take place in multidimensional space....and the way to screen and combine these materials is also proprietary.

Some shielding materials are organically produced semi-mineral structures, and some are otherwise.

Simple, troglodyte level mineral tweaks use limited materials, but the key to proper string shielding is how different structures are intentionally manipulated in terms of shape, composition, and proximity to one another.

After careful system string matching, I create shielded superstrings in such a way that renders them supersymmetric.

They are also portable, and can be worn around the listeners, or another person's, neck, rendering the sound in whichever room the possessor of the supersymmetric superstring happens to be in.

Like a fluid, the effect-field of the "supersymmetric superstring tweak" (hereafter the SST) is fluid - it assumes the shape of the room it is in; ranging from a small personal space to even a large concert hall.

The tweak interacts with the listening environment and the listener to creat an improved audio experience, enhancing imaging, detail, micro and macro-dynamics, as well as lowering distortion, improving ambience, filling out timber, and generally making the listening experience more natural and lifelike.

Like many tweaks of its type, it must be seen to be heard!

As you can see, they sound fantastic.

Unlike some tweaks, they work in safe, unsafe, or any level in between listening environments.

How they work is so fundamental, it goes beyond DNA, evolution, or anything you've ever dreamed of...supersymmetric superstring tweaks (SST's) work in 26 dimensions!

Some are made from rare materials, including special corals and types of turquoise found only in my secret SST factory source zone.

If anyone wants to hear them work, we will have them on dynamic display at this January's T.H.E. Show.

If you see one you like and just can't wait, I will sell small ones for 4,000 dollars, and large ones at a relative bargain price of 6,000 dollars and I will then register as a manufacturer!

I guarantee them to offer measured performance that transcends measurement!

Just drop me a line off-site once you have cash in hand.

Can you dig it?

The problem in the past has been the man turning us against one another. We have been unable to see the truth, because we have fighting for ten square meters of ground, our listening rooms, our little piece of turf. That's crap, brothers! The turf is ours by right, because it's our turn. All we have to do is keep up the general truce. We take over one listening room at a time. Secure our territory... secure our turf... because it's all our turf!

Sold!

Hell, with a sales pitch like that, I want to invest in the company

Mark E.

Buddha
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Thanks, man, but it's Cyrus who really helped me close the deal.

Cyrus can sell it wearing a monkey suit!

mark evans
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Thanks, man, but it's Cyrus who really helped me close the deal.

Cyrus can sell it wearing a monkey suit!

That was hilarious!

RGibran
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Can you put my favorite teams logo and colors on there?

Orb
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I take it that the vaporizing side effect from the other product you intended to sell meant you had to shelve it, wise move with todays compensation claims

But is this another flaw....
What happens when someone undoes the supersting necklace and it no longer loops or is the behaviour same, also is there a side effect from abuse by wearing more than one.... compensation claim!!!!

Cheers
Orb

j_j
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Quote:
I take it that the vaporizing side effect from the other product you intended to sell meant you had to shelve it, wise move with todays compensation claims

But is this another flaw....
What happens when someone undoes the supersting necklace and it no longer loops or is the behaviour same, also is there a side effect from abuse by wearing more than one.... compensation claim!!!!

Cheers
Orb

Well, if you wear two, with opposite Moebus twists, they might mix, slip into a dimension 90 degrees from all of ours, and create a strangelet.

Or something.

Reminds me of this Ogden Nash (I think) ditty:

Edgar Allen Brookie Burton
Went to buy himself a curtain
Went to Martin, Moe, and Mintz
Bought himself some yards of Chintz.
Went to hang it, fell and dangled
There he hung, and there he strangled.

Whaaatever.

Buddha
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Last seen: 12 years 5 months ago
Joined: Sep 8 2005 - 10:24am


Quote:
I take it that the vaporizing side effect from the other product you intended to sell meant you had to shelve it, wise move with todays compensation claims

But is this another flaw....
What happens when someone undoes the supersting necklace and it no longer loops or is the behaviour same, also is there a side effect from abuse by wearing more than one.... compensation claim!!!!

Cheers
Orb

Simultaneous multi-stringing is acceptable, with proper system matching.

If two items are worn, they must either be concentric or arranged into a double helix.

This has been kind of fun...supersymmetric superstring tweaks are something I can really wrap my brane around.

Buddha
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OK, so, the operator....my sleepy wife...can't keep up with demand and at the same time the initial auditioners won't part with them.

I will bring some to CES/T.H.E.

We'll have the all pure corral Large Hadron Super String for try out, and some other pieces that are in preproduction.

I'm dying to see what people think.

126 days, baby!

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