Any McIntosh equipment.

A high-def. copy of a Tiny Tim album.

Bose surround speakers.

Anything that begins with a "B", ends with an "e", and outperforms separate components costing far more! Really though, my extended family wouldn't bat an eye if I spent a small fortune on a car but would positively sh%& if they knew how much my stereo cost. I drive a '94 Subaru but none of them draw the obvious conclusion, and my gem of a mechanic is my favorite component and top audio enabler. I actively keep my family out of the loop by giving them no incentive to get me audio gifts.

Other than having them pick out music for me it would likely be a pair of Bose speakers. I had to do it—sorry Bose.

For my birthday, I had wanted some new headphones, because my years-old beyerdynamics were on their last leg. I had planned on looking at the AKG 701s and/or Senn 650s. With nothing but good intentions, she came home with some Bose sound canceling thingys. I softly and kindly explained to her that since exchanging vows, I now drive a minivan with two children, own two floral print sofas, and have a house that smells like a potpourri factory. Even though I love her, If she ever bought me stereo gear again, she'd hear from my lawyer.

The digitally remastered collection of Zamfir albums.

Any thing made by Monster Cable.

A surround sound system.

A bookshelf audio system, one of those with lots of plastic and lights that all the retail chains always have blaring.

A gift card for iTunes and its lo-rez downloads. With eBay, though, any gift can be replaced, albeit not at equal value—even snake oil. I do not consider getting a Bose product an audiophile gift, but I would not return it. I would use it to disprove Bose marketing fiction.

Hooked on Classics'. Do you remember them? Or something else like that crap.

My future ex-wife gave me a noisy box fan for my listening room, so the that tubes wouldn't heat up the room so much. An overall poor choice in physics.

CDs instead of vinyl.

Anything by Bose. Having to have Bose in my home would be my worst nightmare.

iPod dock (built-in speakers)

The Bose Wave Radio/CD Player.

iPods. They keep trying to give me iPods.

Anything involving the letters HTIB.

A complete makeover of your audio system while you are out of town on business.

Audiophile lingerie. Resonator man brassiere with hand carved mpingo inserts and ruby cabachon faux tone nipples with laser engraved likeness of Jerry Lewis from 1963. Yes, the absolute worst.

Anything Bose. "How about a lovely wave radio for the kitchen—ooh, it is so good". Suggest covering with a red current glaze and baking with the ham at 440F for 20minutes.

Bose

Vinyl

I dont want a CD/vinyl that I already own for a gift. I have a huge wish list—give me a gift card I will get what I want.

A $100 gift card for a high-end audio store. It would cost me thousands to spend it.

A pair of discount Kirkland RCA A/V interconnect, from the Costco!

Bose.

Bad sounding cables of any kinds.

Another motherf******** format war. Or more clueless reviewers hyping multi channel.