Overlooked Classical Music Recordings for April 1st

Audiophiles and classical music lovers often risk falling into a repertorial rut. The classical standards are constantly being rerecorded—often to the point of needless repetition. How many versions of Mendelssohn's "Italian" Symphony or Ravel's Bolero do you really need? Rather than fill up your shelves with recordings of the same tired compositions, I suggest you look into some of these more obscure pieces—all of them perfect for playing on the first day of April. Below, a list of fresh "basics" that any good audiophile should own:

Beethoven: Symphony 69, "Erotica." Bernard Hijinks, Amsterdam Concertgeboom Orchestra. Telephon 1-900-453-5646.

Beethoven: Infidelio. Kari Rictus, Chorus & Orchestra of the Vienna State Opera for the Criminally Insane. Endive 647876.

Berlioz: Harlots in Italy. William Pimpnose, viola; Nikolous Hardoncourt, Montmartre Philandermonique de Chambre. Seraglio 1648.

Bloch: Schlemiel. Mischa Mainsqueeze, cello; Vladimir Ashcanausea, Cantspell Czech Philharmonic. Epic 1-989.

Debussy: La Merde. Sir Colin Divot, Academy of Prince Albert in the Can. Nosuch II 455.

Gershwin: Rhapsody in Puce. Leonard Sideburns, MTV Symphony Orchestra. Odium 288.

Liszt: Les Quaaludes. Karl Boom, L'Orchestre de la Swiss Cheese. Angle DS 847569.

Mendelssohn: Accidental Music to A Midsummer Night's Dream. Daniel Barenbomb, Bathroom Festival Orchestra. Capitalist 3777.

Mendelstotter: Peace March of the Priests. Raymond Leper, Stuttgart Chamber of Commerce Orchestra. Deutsche Gestalt Gemütlichkeit 3330-676f.

Mozart: The Magic Schoolbus. Sir Adrian Dolt, Chorus & Orchestra of the Royal Opera House, Covert Garden. Argyle ML 34277.

Mozart: Symphonie Disconcertante. Anne-Soapy Mutter, violin; Pamela McCuddles-Edelweiss, viola; Akira Nintendo, The Fitzwilliam Hippocampus Consortium of Miami University. Enigma 67580.

Offenbach: Orpheus in his Underwear. Loren Mazeltov, I Solisti de Zig Zagreb. Erratum STU 77080.

Orff: Carmina Piranha. Sir Neville Marinara, Academy of St. Christopher on the Dashboard. Douche Gramphon 7201-75.

Purcell: Trumpet Involuntary. Winton Veal Marsala, trumpet; Wilhelm Fahrtwängler, Disneyland Wind Ensemble. Serigraph S 64749.

Respighi: Ancient Errors and Dunces for the Lout. Rafael Freshbatch de Burgers, Dumbarton Oaks Chamber Pot Orchestra. Telefunk CX3 42256.

Respighi: The Mountains of Chrome. Howard Handsome, Eastman Kodak Symphony Orchestra. Turnover TVA 64784.

Respighijklmnoops: The Pines of Sol. Sir John Barbarian, Halley's Comet Orchestra. Archaic DT 9477356.

Rimsky-Of-Korsakov: Le Coq au Vin. Richard Boingg, Vienna Volkswagen Orchestra. Turnoff TWA 503472.

Sherbet: Symphony 7, "Unfurnished." Earnest Answer-man, New York Philanthropic Orchestra. Deutsche Gewurztraminer Gazelleschaft 8988.

Shostakovich: Concerto 1 for Piano and Strumpet. Zoltan Coccyx, piano; William Hips, strumpet; Wetold Loutaslapstick, Bidetfest Symphony Orchestra. Decadence 95648.

Smetana: The Battered Broad. Hanns Upp, Barbarian Radio Orchestra. Argot ZPG 746.

Stravinsky: The Firebug. Krrysstof Paindernecki, Manuel de Falla Society Orchestra. Arson Nova 911.

Tacobell: Cannon in D. Claudio Abbadabbadoo, English Bedchamber Orchestra. Megaphon 3455 34.

Tchaikovsky: Tobacco Variations. Bert Phillips-Morris, cello; Eugene Mormondy, The Philadelphia Tabernacle Strings. Panatela 4655.

Tchaikovsky: Marche Slob. Michael Teeter-Totter, London Pandemonic Orchestra. His Master's Vice ARSE 8574.