Saving All My Love For You

How anyone was surprised that Britney Spears has shaved her head is beyond me. As Stereophile's assistant editor, the intrepid Stephen Mejias reminded me, she was brainwashed as a toddler thanks to that malevolent mindfuck known as The Mickey Mouse Club. Add to that she's a piece of unreconstructed white trash from Louisiana, who's now been coddled beyond all description and suddenly head shaving looks like the least of her worries.

But hey, not all young stars are cut of the same useless bimbo cloth. New Yorker Scarlett Johansson, who yes, could probably compel me to wear a dog collar and bark like a Keeshond if she so desired, is gonna launch her singing career with a record of Tom Waits covers. So she's not only gorgeous she’s deeeeep (man) too.