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BluesDog's picture
Last seen: 1 week 2 days ago
Joined: Mar 17 2020 - 6:59am
A Move For One Is A Move For All!

And a win by one is a win for all! True story (hanastagad!) Feel free to substitute a coveted piece of audio equipment for Audiophiles. Among the legions of usually male Audio/video enthusiasts, the slate is usually Lions 99, Christians 1 in the equation of matrimonial wants/needs. Countless of us wait for years to finally “make a move.” Car repairs, home repairs, especially children’s and wife’s needs always come ahead (and should.) But the electronics heart wants what the electronics heart wants. Even when something necessary isn’t present, there is always Mt Wife as an unassailable force. This is a story of a lucky Christian.

In 2010, I wore down (I mean persuaded) the wife to upgrade from a 2001 55 inch Mitsubishi 1080i tv (state of the art at the time) to a 63 inch Samsung 1080p plasma. She was sick of the 28 inch deep Mitsubishi “looking like a coffin” in the living room. She sometimes threatened to place me in it. There was a helluva deal available at BJ’s. The Samsung plasma in the box was an enormous bastard. It easily laughed at the size of Suburbans. The tv itself weighed 134 ibs. A neighbor friend with an oversize commercial cargo van was recruited to help. While my wife waited near the checkout, my friend and I obtained a brontosaurus 4 wheel orange handtruck to bring the tv to the checkout line. An astounding dynamic then unfolded.

The women making purchases unanimously folded their arms and glared at my wife. The telepathy emitted that she was “betraying the entire tribe of women” was palpable. Then, one guy announced “Yes! One of us finally got to do it! You go, Boy!. Go! Go!”. Next thing I know, the chant of “Go! Go!” spread throughout the aisles of BJ”s as men everywhere instinctively responded to a rare electronics victory for our sometimes ludicrous and pathetic species. The checkout staff were highly entertained. My wife just fell over laughing, shook her head and said “Just get me out of here.”

I couldn’t help but think that the presence of the wife was the catalyst. Had it been just 2 guys most people would have thought either 1) Rich asshole! Or 2) Someone clearly single and without children. I couldn’t help but think that the men present at BJ’s went home and made a stronger then usual assault on Mt Wife. When the affected wives asked “why are being a particularly bad pain in the ass?, the men thought of the lucky Christian and replied “Lack of tv make you brave!” so all of you out there, don’t EVER give up hope!

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