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Get back to your normal questions. You guys got too much time on your hands?
Here's the first joke to get you started:<P>Q. How many audiophiles does it takes to change a light bulb?<P>A. One, and 33-1/3 to explain the superiority of candles. (Thanks to Bryan Stanton)<P><I>OR</I><P>A. Three: one to do it and two to discuss how the old bulb was better with this particular socket and wiring system.<BR><P><I>OR</I> (from Kal Rubinson)<P>A. One, but he has to stand on TipToes to do it.<BR>
A bunny and a snake were out drinking at their respective bars, and both critters were fairly well pickled when they set off for home. Being late, they both decided to take a shortcut through a field, and, it being dark, they smacked right into each other. "Who are you?" cried one. "Uh . . . you tell me who you are first!" cried the other. Well, they went around like this for a while, and finally agreed that they would feel each other and guess as to the other's identity. The snake went first and says, "Hmmm . . . you're soft and warm and furry, and have big long floppy ears and a cottontail---you must be a bunny rabbit!" Then the rabbit took his turn and said, "Hmmm . . . you're cold and slimy and scaly, you crawl on your belly, and you have no ears---you must work for a record label!"
An anthropologist was in the jungle when she heard drums off in the distance. She asked a local what was going on. The reply was "Bad, very bad." The next day the drums were still going, so she again asked a local what was happening and got the same reply: "Bad---very, very, bad!" The next day the drumming finally stopped, and the anthropologist asked why this had happened. A local reponded, "Chief finally got his subwoofers placed properly."
what did the Bose say to the B&W? I don't know it was unintelligible. What did the krell say to the Pass? Not Much. What did Monster say to Kimber? Who is using Snake Oil? What did Stereophile say to Steeo Review? How! you speekum my language?
How many audiohiles does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, initially it takes one. But then he has to invite all of his friends over, and write letters to the editor to make sure his bulb is up to snuff. Then, in an ultimate rage of obsessiveness, the audiophile feels compelled to re-wire the electrical socket and install a damping device.
A belligerent, loudmouth drunk stands up from his seat at the bar and declares,"All audiophiles are petty little assholes!" From across the room another drunk yells, "Hey, pal, I'm a petty little asshole and I resent that!"