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May 2, 2009 - 1:07am
#1
Anyone ever try speed dating?
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Have you been watching Millionaire Matchmaker ?
I stole that from Alien Loves Predator.
Alien Loves Predator and XKCD are my two favorite web comics.
A friend of mine tried it. He hated it. He said it was like grinding meat at a meat market. There's no way to establish any sort of a connection with anyone. It's just an interviewing process with canned questions and answers. It's a really fucked up concept because it dehumanizes the most human of experiences.
I really like #261, although the Jesus playing for the Yankees series is also priceless.
Man, last night was an audiophile's worst nightmare.
I found a local live music venue that had an add saying free liquor, too!
So I went.
Good lord, I couldn't line up a drink at all; so, I asked my server about this. I said, "So, where's the booze in this place, anyway?"
She said, "What are you talking about?"
I said, "The flyer for this thing said, 'Alcohol: Free!'"
She said, "It said alcohol-free. As in, no alcohol"
I said, "Holy diamteric opposition! I can't think of another two words that can mean something so good, or, alternately, something so terrible! Can I at least get a beer?"
She said, "Eat me."
Well, there was more false advertising right there, I tell you what.
Speaking of diametric opposition, in the immortal words of Bart Simpson, I didn't think it was possible, but the evening both sucked and blew.
If you gave her a diamond ring, you already did just that.