I was sort of kicking myself for scheduling a trip to Puerto Rico while, back in New York City, friends and neighbors would be swimming in vinyl at the WFMU Record Fair and getting down and dirty at the CMJ Music Marathon.

WTF? Duh, dude. What was I thinking?

Tropical sun, beaches, empandas, ice-cold cans of Medalla…whatever.

But then, on one gray and rainy weekday afternoon, I just so happen to be visiting the Vivian Girls Myspace page, and, lo and behold, what is this?! In a bizarre twist of luck, I find that my sweethearts will be in Puerto Rico at the exact same time as me. And more: They’ll be performing at some joint called Bamboo Beach in a dreamy little sand-covered town called Isabela, just minutes away from where I’ll be staying.

There is a god. And his name is rock and roll.

And he's probably a girl.

Now, if I may bequeath upon you audiophiles and LP-lovers my unique brand of masculine intuition for uno momento, let it be known that Cassie Ramone, Ali Koehler, and Kickball Katy (aka the Vivian Girls) are three talented women who share that inconceivable, unsettling, and altogether heavenly way of being: 1.) cute as hell, 2.) sweet as pie, and 3.) totally fricking sexy all at the same time. If you know what I’m talking about, you know what I’m talking about. And, if you don’t, I’m sorry for you. Either way, friends, it spells danger for Mejias. Your faithful scribe (that’s me) is in un situation muy peligroso.

Let me see…How to woo a Vivian Girl?

Talk to her about my rad hi-fi.
Talk to her about New Jersey.
Say something deep about the Mets.
Bust out my secret dance move, The Gorilla.
Wear my Zola Jesus t-shirt.
Wear my Thurston Moore t-shirt?
Smile a lot.
Don’t smile at all, stupid.
Invite her back to the beach house for a dip in the pool under the rum-colored Puerto Rican moonlight.

Alright, so I’ll be in Puerto Rico for a few days. Will you sit around and miss me when I'm gone?

Pray for me, Argentina. Thanks.