Oh My God, They've Killed Mel

Holy Molars Batman, South Park has been outdone by so-called real life! Say it ain't so!

Ya gotta hand it to Mel Gibson though. I mean he managed to stifle his deep-seated alcohol-triggered anti-Semitic rage until there was actual fighting again between Israel and one of its many foes.

Still, I'm haunted by the nearly naked, Braveheart face-painted Gibson, who bounced around the 2004 episode The Passion of the Jewhooting like Daffy Duck, and acting nuts as hell which…ahhh, we all now know, thanks to his ranting ("sugar tits"? Oh Mel) to actually be true. I'm sure that being raised by a putz Holocaust denying father did not help his bent genes any, but damn, it looks like Mr. Faith and Morals done finally got his. If only justice worked this quickly and effectively on some of the other arrogant, asinine ideologues in this country.

Several classic quotes from that episode, to be found on TV.com and other web locales:

Kyle:"I feel way better about being a Jew now that I know Mel Gibson is just a big wacko douche."

Stan: "Mel Gibson is f(beep)ing crazy, dude!"

Mel Gibson: "I have to use that money to build my church! I brought the fire and brimstone back to Christianity with The Passion and now I'm gonna start my own church! And do you know why? So I can play banjo! (sings and plays banjo) Jesus, oh how I love ya, how I love ya Jesus!"

But again none of that approaches the woozy hatefulness of Mel's brush with the law in Malibu where his mouth, and one would assume accompanying brain but then again maybe not, turned even ranker than the South Park crew could have imagined. All that was missing was hooting and bouncing around, though it seems he did some of that in the back of the police car.

Today Mel released a statement that again really out South Park's South Park.

"I would like to take it one step further, and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one on one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing."

Appropriate path? How about the one that leads to an eternity of well deserved obscurity. Who am I kidding? In matter of weeks, he’ll be cured and mouthing platitudes about how much he’s "grown" and how terribly sorry he is.

What about another South Park visit to Mel–land? Mel meets Officer Barbrady and vows revenge.

We also learned today that poor Boy George, (think of the hairdos, hasn’t he suffered enough?), has been assigned trash duty, picking up garbage on the streets in August in Manhattan in the heat, for the community service he was slapped with when he plead guilty to falsely reporting an incident. You may remember that Mr. O'Dowd called the NYC cops last October to report a burglary that never happened. Instead the police found drugs out in the open in his downtown apartment. Whoops! Probably shoulda tidied up the party before lettin' the fuzz in eh?

Do you really want to hurt me? Guess when it comes to NYC and that karma, karma, karma chameleon the answer is definitely yes.

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