Help! Government! Save us from hot dogs!
"They're much more than a tailgating staple. In a new paper, the American Academy of Pediatrics says hot dogs are also a choking hazard to children and should come with a warning label. About 17% of food-related asphyxiations in those younger than 10 are caused by hot dogs, according to a 41-state study cited in the paper. The American Academy of Pediatrics went so far as to say that hot dogs should be redesigned to make it less likely that they will get lodged in the throats of the young."
Somewhere between 61 and 77 kids in America choke to death on food per year.
Hot dogs account for 17% of those deaths.
So, around a dozen kids per year.
There are 62 million kids aged 14 or under in the U.S.
So, somewhere in the neigborhood of one in 7-10 million kids die from choking on a hot dog in a given year.
Of course, that deserves to make national headlines and now "concerned" people are now demanding safer hot dogs and labels warning people that they could possibly choke on a hot dog.
I vote we brand that warning directly onto the hot dogs in case some unwary consumer accidentally gets hold of a rogue dog that isn't in a package that has the warning label. I demand we label each hot dog (and grape) individually.
(Actually, I find the numbers encouraging, it looks more and more like natural selection has already removed most of the idiots who can't master hot dog eating from the population.)
In 1999, 1776 children were killed by guns - so where are the fuckin' labels for those?