NBC has anounced a new show:
"My Name is Eldrick."
Lying in a hospital bed, under the influence of morphine, Eldrick develops a belief in the Americanized concept of karmic retribution when he hears about karma during an episode of Last Call with Carson Daly.
He decides he wants to turn his life around, and so makes a list of every slore he's ever done in an attempt to un-screw them, as he believes that this is the only way he can gain positive karma.
After doing his first good deed, he gets a multi-million dollar endorsement he had previously lost. He sees this as a sign and, with his new lucky endorsement, he proceeds with the 8th and 9th Steps, unscrewing, one by one, his prior 'conquests' in correspondence to a list torn from the pages of The Enquirer that he keeps in his wallet.
Jamie Pressly will figure in somewhere.