about our significant others?  Or a way to subtly say, "We're rich bitch!"  Rick James style.

Because I think if was really a problem, our wives and girlfriends would come first..  and do.

Just saying.

I somewhat see the second posters point, but let's give the OP the benefit of the doubt.

Spouses and audio relations are like any other part of a marriage: Either you both care for and respect each other, (even if the other's interest don't always align with your own), or you don't.  And the same go for the reverse: either you care about how you conduct yourself, and how much time or how much you spending (for instance) on your hobby effects those a very you or you don't. When I hear of big problems between couples over audio equipment or or music listening I usually think maybe they just don't have a very solid relationship. Seriously, what is so hard to work out if you both just talk about it and want to find a middle ground? Or go find a counselor to learn how to talk things out if you don't know how.

And it goes both ways: A wife who insists the entire household meets her standards of esthetics, (which means no electronics visible anywhere), is being totally unreasonable, and obviously doesn't care at all about something really important to her husband.

But the guy that also insists on having the better part of their living space piled high with so much gear and wires, and acoustic foam on the walls that it looks like a studio like-wise is just being a jerk. Both seem obvious to me, but I've read many a time that it's not for more than a few couples. Again, it's my opinion this subject is not unique, and is just the canary in the coal mine.

My wife has been great to me about audio gear, and has bought several big pieces for me for birthdays and Father's days (after consulting my friends who know what I'd like of course). And for my part I try and keep things looking reasonably domestic, run larger purchases by her first, and don't even bother broaching acoustic panels and tube traps, because let's be honest" they all look pretty silly in a home environment. 

Good points dbowker, you seem to view relationships as we do, family first everything else later. Also agree with you on room absorbers/treatments, are main system is also kept socially acceptable by not having equipment on the floor. I guess I shouldn't have mentioned the wives hobby, I forgot how touchy some can be, lesson learned. I still can't figure that one out though, the audio club we are members of has introduced us to friends from all walks of life, we enjoy visiting and listening to all their systems equally and without prejudice. 

                                                                                                                                              Your middle income friend

                                                                                                                                                           Tim

i find that we get along pretty well on the audio hobby if i don't talk in "audiophile" speak and never, never mention price.  i can lure her into the cave if i put on something that i know she likes.  saturday night, i put on the beatles' abby road and just like a cat to the can opener, in she came.  like a cat, she listened to a side, decided she had had enough and out she went.  it was nice.  she has the horse illness, so she can't really complain too loudly.  our kids are gone, but when we were raising them, i took a hiatis from the hobby so as not to spend needed resources and prescious time on the hobby.  most of my gear then was hand-me-downs, but the kids and i would have a lot of fun listening to the music they liked at the time and it doubled as my surround-sound system.

balance is the key to everything in life

best regards,

tom

My wife doesn't share my obsession with Hi-Fi, but I noticed her singing along with the latest Neil Diamond release I was playing the other day, "The Very Best of Neil Diamond, The Original Studio Recordings" We share some musical likes, but she goes for popular vocalists, while I like a broader range of stuff. She also doesn't share my preference for playing music at 80dB plus a few, so I turn it down when she's home.

She makes concessions on the placement of the audio gear, but on the other hand I don't get to set it up exactly as I want. She doesn't see the value in spending more for better sounding equipment, but she does agree that our setup sounds nice. I don't usually mention the price of equipment I purchase, and there may be a piece or two that I failed to mention adding. I think she probably knows more about my purchases than she lets on, but it's one of those things we don't entirely agree on so not too much point in discussing.

She did surprise me in the mid 90's with an M&K subwoofer for Christmas.

Unlike myself, she does not take time at home to just sit and listen to music. She does almost all of her serious listening in her car, where she keeps all of her favorite CDs, including the latest from Adele.

... Tim

My old wife asked me why I dared turn up our $200 KLH Model 20 compact system loud enough to hear it.  "Because I want to listen to the music," I replied, nervously shuffling my feet while gazing at the floor to avoid her wrath.

"Why not turn it down and keep it in the background like wallpaper so you don't have to pay attention to it?" she hissed.  "You know it really  is annoying that you actually want to listen..." she whined.

Not long afterwards my next wife stopped in the middle of her dancing the shing-a-ling to Sly and the Family Stone.   Wife number two then paused to admire the huge pile of 15 inch subwoofers---the smaller pair of 12 inch subs and finally the full sized studio monitors all very obviously occupying our living room.  Nearby in a separate room I had constructed massive walls of gear including record store record racks and rows of custom cabinets housing a small fortune in class A gear.

"Gosh this all sounds absolutely wonderful," she enthused.  "But could it sound better yet if things were even bigger?" she asked in wide eyed admiration.  I smiled at her child-like purity and then I gazed upward to heaven in silent thanks.

And the moral of the story is...

Well, you compromise to a point.    I purchase speakers that cost as much as a "ring",  so she gets some pretty jewerly.  It's a win-win.    Now it doesn't seem to work on subwoofers so, that item is only allowed in the MAN ROOM. 

We get along fine.  She inherited my man cave when the 55 inch flat screen moved in.  I took over the living room with the stereo gear.  It actually is a slightly better size and shape for the equipment.  Martin Logan ESLs are rather sensitive to placement and the cave was just not right for them.

Good listening

Bruce

Marry another Engineer. :)

I occasionally threaten to build another system so I can get mine back :)

Like a few have noted, family first.. No use losing your family on a bunch of electronics and speakers.

Family first eh, maybe I'll try that, but then again there's been no problems up till now, and they do have fun commenting on my passion and sharing in it's virtues.

The Hi Fi is a family item.