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geoffkait
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Last seen: 50 min 5 sec ago
Joined: Apr 29 2008 - 5:10am
Engineer joke

Three men were sentenced to die by guillotine - a policeman, a construction worker and an engineer. The first person to be executed was the policeman, who was taken from his cell up to the guillotine platform and made to kneel with his head below the blade. But when the signal was given to drop the blade nothing happened. After an examination of the guillotine apparatus no problem could be observed, so the lucky policeman was pardoned and sent home to his wife and children. Thinking the problem with the guillotine was temporary or intermittent, it was decided to proceed with the executions and bring up the second man, the construction worker. So the construction worker was taken from his cell, marched up to the guillotine and placed in the customary postion with his head on the chopping block. But when the signal to drop the blade was given, the guillotine again failed to work properly, and again the man's life was spared and he was sent home to his family, a free man. After a second and more thorough examination of the guilltine apparatus still no problems could be found so the third man to be executed, the engineer, who had witnessed the previous two failed executions from his cell, was escorted up to the guillotine platform and made to kneel with his head on the chopping block. As the engineer waited for the signal to be given to drop the blade, he happened to turn his head just enough to observe the guillotine apparatus that controlled the large, heavy blade and saw that a part of the apparatus had somehow gotten wedged. Excitedly, the engineer yelled out to the executioner and the others assembled, "Look, there's your problem!"

Geoff Kait
Machina Dynamica

jgossman
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Last seen: 1 week 14 hours ago
Joined: Aug 18 2011 - 6:21am
Play at night..

A firefighter, a priest and an engineer embark seperately for a game of golf.  Up first, the firefighter gets frustrated at the slow erratic play of the group ahead and complains to the ranger.  The ranger explains that the guys playing are the survivors of last years club house fire, who were left blind.  Remembering working the horrific blaze,  he apoligizes, and offers up a collection at the firehouse for vision correction.  The priest playing behind the firefighter calls to complain about the play ahead.  The ranger explains the story, and remembering the funerals he presided over from the fire, the priest concieds, and offers Hail Mary's throughout the rectory.  Finally, the engineer, following the complaint and the same story ask the ranger, "Why don't they just play at night?"

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