I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they are going to feel all day.

If the pain and suffering of a hangover were to precede the euphoria and good fellowship, then drunkenness would become the eighth sacrament.

Wine is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Here's to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.