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Let's see: my ex-wife, several of my male friends, my mom, my boss—and it goes on and on.

It happens, but the joke's on them when they crank up their boombox and ask, "Doesn't that sound good?" This is when you either laugh or bite your tongue.

Recently I upgraded some power cables and there was a noticeable difference and so I asked my wife to come listen to the improvement in transparency and the size of the soundstage. She just smiles and says wow!, but she says it like I am from another planet.

At just about every change in the house, I am consulted in hushed tones about whether we should opt for air-dried maple or mdf, or should we go ahead damp with lead shot, whether it's for a block under a flower pot or a daydream about new counter tops.

Feeling sensitive these days, are we?

Once, I was demonstrating my new speakers to a visitor who expressed the opinion that my speakers were "crap" because they did not play louder. I said: "never mind the volume, listen to the wide soundstage and separation of each individual insrument. You can even hear the musicians shuffeling in their seats and turning the pages of their music!" He noticed my copies of Stereophile on the end table and told everyone after that that I was a "Stereo fool."

I keep my audiophilia incognito; I try to do the same with my equipment's placement in my home listening room.

My brother always gets a smile on his face when he reads an article on hearing a difference in cables. RadioShack zip cord is as good as anything.

Yes, until they actually listened to my system.

I assume wives don't count.... Besides, Jane leave Tarzan, stereo no leave Tarzan!

Huh?

Everybody I know thinks it's nuts. None of my friends are audiophiles. All of them love to listen to music on the system when they come over for a Clos de Tart or Tuesday night poker game but they all think spending a lot of money on a stereo is flaky. I never tell anyone how much anything costs anymore. It's pointless. A couple of $500 bottles to go with a brace of aged Smith & Wolenski steaks burnt just so on a $1200 grill is OK but spending that kind of money on Kimber Select or Benz Micro just escapes them. So I put on Hums of The Lovin' Spoonful and watch them go right back to their youth. I can take it 'cause I can reach them where they live.

I think we all have had enough of being told to "turn it down" or "you're going to go deaf."

My wife's vision of my unseen audiophile friends is elbow patched tweed jackets, and lots of nose hair.

For owning a pair of Polk SDA-2 speakers. When I was stationed in Germany back in the '80s. They kind of started my pursuit of high end hi-fi. They were a giant leap up from the Bose 601s I had!

Not really, but then I don't regale them with tales from the Shun Mook jungle. It also helps that my system gets dual use for movies. Even the most uninitiated get that.

But I'm not the kind of person many people make fun of (6'4", 280 pounds).

The only audiophiles that would get any ribbing or being made fun of would be those that obsess over the tiniest things for no real benefit. There's life outside of stereo gear.

Today, if anyone made fun of me for being an audiophile I'd swap out their hosptial grade AC outlets for generic ones without telling them. Tee hee. However, back when Polk speaker cables were new and I mentioned my purchase of them my two person audience told me I had an "advanced case of audiophile-itis." They were high-end salesmen.

A friend of mine would roll his eyes and tell me it wasn't worth the money to spend $2k on a turntable when there were plenty of good $200 Technic turntables out there.

Who hasn't? There's about as much respect or understanding for what we audiofools do as there is for yak herding. Not that the world doesn't need a good yak herder or another $50k amp, it's just that the hoi polloi don't care. Most of my friends look at my beautiful system, shrug their shoulders, and offer me advice on the order of: "why didn't you just save thousands and go buy this crap at Circuit City?" Then they get into their $60,000 SUVs and drive off to another $200 meal. They will never know...

Not all my friends think of me as nuts, my wife "doesn't understand" me but guess who they all come to for advice when purchasing sound reproduction equipment? I have also made a goodly number of converts at work, convincing many that the American audio industry is alive and doing quite well, thank-you very much. That's part of what it is all about, too!

My wife does it everyday.

My family thinks I should hang around with more people my age rather than those "old fogies who play old records and discuss the tone of a redwood bass."

I was recently the victim of some left-handed ribbing from an unexpected source. I've put together what I might call a pretty decent system over the years, picking up some very nice high-end pieces. But, my power amplifiers (Adcom GFA 565 monoblocks) were definitely mid-fi, and I knew I needed to replace them to get the most out of my music. Recently, I was shopping for an amplifier to replace my aging beasts, and the first dealer I went to actually made fun of me for having those old amplifiers still in use. His words were something along the lines of taking them out to the pistol range with my Desert Eagle and putting them out of their misery. (I decided against spending any money there!)

All the time. "You spend too much time fussing with/cleaning your records...why aren't your speakers put out of the way in the corner?"—and my favourite, "why do have that big thing on the floor with the bulbs in it...why don't you have a receiver?" (My amp, of course.)

Not to my face, but I'm sure friends have questioned my "sanity" when I'm not around!

Yes, by many friends and relatives. Some become curious. People are more forgiving after having experienced the sound. Though perhaps not won over enough to partake. I find audiophiles bond.

Yes, but who cares?

Yes, those idiots selling 5.1 when 98% of all music is two-channel or less, and always will be.