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Q: Why did the audiophile cross the road? A: Because the imaging was better on the other side.
Here's the first joke to get you started:<P>Q. How many audiophiles does it takes to change a light bulb?<P>A. One, and 33-1/3 to explain the superiority of candles. (Thanks to Bryan Stanton)<P><I>OR</I><P>A. Three: one to do it and two to discuss how the old bulb was better with this particular socket and wiring system.<BR><P><I>OR</I> (from Kal Rubinson)<P>A. One, but he has to stand on TipToes to do it.<BR>
Fine, have an audio jokes section. Some are quite funny. The biggest audio joke is that most of the equipment out there sounds so bad . . . like any reflex or box speaker. The wrong bass sounds they make, either in terms of no dynamics (box) or one (wrong) note whoompa-whoompa, silly, resonant bass (reflex) are culturally ingrained on our ears because they are popular and that's all people hear (no live music), so they actually think they sound correct! Let's get back to the serious questions please.
Litebulb joke: Only one, but it takes about three weeks to fully appreciate the new bulb. First , the power cable has to be replaced, then the socket needs rubber feet, the bulb needs a damper, and of course it gives off green light after the magic-marker treatment. Finally, it takes about three weeks for the bulb to properly burn-in. What would be useful is to obtain a copy of the Stereophile Lightbulb burn-in socket, which automatically turns the bulb on/off in a special pattern to enhance the electrons and the glowing stage. One more note: Two bulbs placed about 7-9 feet apart about 1/3 of the way into the room create a more realistic lighting experience.
Here is one I thought I saw in Stereo Review in the late '60s; think it was a Rodrigus cartoon. Audiophile has a large seashell in his living room, friend picks it up and puts it against his ear to hear "ocean sounds" but can't hear anything; he turns shell over and sees double-D logo and the words "Dolby System." Ha, ha, ha!
Hmmm . . . a real audiophile would make sure that the lightbulb was made in by Svetlana or at least be an NOS GE. None of that stuff made in China. And, of course, a real audiophile would make sure that the lightbulb was turned on for at least two hours before it could be used for critical reading. Lastly, none of them solid state 12VDC halogens or fluorescents. Only good old incandescent will do. AND . . . of course, the spectral balance of that incandescent will be very important! OHOHOH, the SE folks will want a 12VDC lightbulb. Something about the glow. The OTL troops, of course, will insist on 100 1W lightbulbs all wired in parallel. And . . . have we discussed the light socket yet?
Paul Klipsch is walking down a city street when he sees Dr. Amar Bose walking toward him. He cups his hands to his mouth in a horn shape and yells "Hi, Dr. Bose, how are you?" Dr. Bose sees him and acknowledges him by turning around, facing the opposite way, and yelling back, "I'm fine, Paul. How are you?"